When news of an imminent snowstorm hits, ordinary people prepare. Some anxious awaiters visit the home & garden store to buy calcium chloride for the sidewalk. They gas up the snow blower and place the shovel within reach of the front door. Others head for the grocery store to stock their shelves with bread, bottled water, heat-and-serve soup, hot chocolate, and perhaps a little something to spike it with.

But we writers are not ordinary people. Rather than waste our time gathering sidewalk treatments and rushing for staples, we do something that feels perfectly natural to us. We rush TO Staples. Or Office Max or even Target -- whichever is nearest -- for all we need is a couple of packs of printer paper, some fresh ink cartridges, and maybe a new pen.

Let's face it, writers view a storm of any kind as a gift, a treat. For all those cancelations offer us that lump of time we haven't been able to whittle out of our schedules for the whole month of January.

How do you plan to spend the next 24 hours? Will you:
* Read for pleasure outside the genre you're currently writing (attempting to turn off that internal book critic)?
* Read to analyze what others in your field are writing?
* Catch up on some publishing news or scan a couple of how-to-hone-your-craft articles?
* Edit your manuscript or brainstorm a new plot?
* Do online research for your work-in-progress?
* Register for Fat Plum's Book Boot Camp? (Hint, hint...which brings me to my next point...)
* Work on social networking and self-promotion?
* Or will you write, write, write until your eyes go blurry and your fingers numb?

For me, the answer is clear and simple. I'm going to do all of the above and more. I might clean out my closet or wash all the sheets. And, oh yeah, I want to make a blueberry pie.

Happy snowstorm, writers! Enjoy!

What is Book Boot Camp? It is an intensive six-week workshop designed to take your work in progress from mediocre to marketable!

To quote yesterday's Publisher's Lunch, the newsletter of www.PublishersMarketplace.com, it read, "Even in the digital age, the power of meeting face-to-face cannot be underestimated."

While this quote was in reference to attending the London Book Fair, the writer was correct. Face-to-face meetings can be a powerful way to impact your writing.

Book Boot Camp's small group sessions offer writers targeted feedback specific to individual writing projects with a focus on improving the manuscript, taking it to the next level. Constructive, targeted suggestions cover content, editing, and marketing concerns.

There will be a maximum of 8 attendees in the session. By keeping the group small, each reader will receive plenty of individual critique time each week!

Due to the stressed economy, we at Fat Plum decided to keep the cost of the Boot Camp the same as it has been since 2007. The fee is $240 for six three-hour sessions.

So what are you waiting for? For additional information, click on the "Register Now" button above and enlist today!

While I chatted with one of the delivery men about the broken oven being a great excuse for going out to dinner instead of having to cook tonight, the other man fell silent. He was reading something hanging on my kitchen wall. He chuckled and said, "I like Dad's number three the best." It was then I realized just what he had read.

A little too early on January first, my teenaged daughter pulled out a piece of bright yellow poster board and a big pack of Sharpies(TM). At the top of the poster, she wrote in jaggedy, angularly artistic letters: Unbreakable Resolutions. She proceeded to create a bulleted list of five points for each family member and then added a column for the family as a whole, titled "Everyone." Under this category, she listed chores and responsibilities that generally fall on me, so I was quite happy to see that list evolve.

Once the poster was fully and colorfully decorated, we each had five "unbreakable" blanks to fill. "My first one is easy," I told my daughter. "Write 'EXERCISE'." She laughed and scribbled it in beside the number one.

I laughed too, but the sad fact was, she wasn't joking. Hopping on an elliptical machine once every ten days did not constitute exercise. And at home, Wii Fit was fine as long as no one else was around to watch. But it seemed I could fill a room with the click of the Wii controller and a ting of the intro music. I guess everyone wanted to witness my best Warrior pose.

I didn't commit any further than the word "Exercise" on line one, however. I wasn't about to add specifics about how many times a week I'd attempt to go. After all, this was the year of the "Unbreakable Resolution." And no way was I going to be the first family member to crack.

I added such achievable resolutions as gagging down more calcium (I hate how huge those horse pills are) and using my new Envirosax bags, given to me as a gift from my dear friend Julie. I knew those were two things I could surely accomplish. But my entries numbered four and five remained unwritten.

My oldest daughter is a college student and she promised to update her list by text messaging entries just as soon as they came to her. But we all could write her list for her: 1. Study Harder. 2. Get More Rest. 3. Get More Rest. 4. Study Harder. She is a collegiate swimmer on an intensive training trip at the moment so, of course, she sent the message that "Swim Faster" should be added to her segment of the family poster. NCAAs, here we come (hopefully)!

My son's list constituted such ideas as "Clean Room", "Talk Less in School", and "Actually DO Physical Therapy Exercises." Those, of course, were all written in his older sister's handwriting. Had he come up with his own resolutions, they would have read something like, "Play More XBox" and "Golf Everyday."

My middle daughter's list of five encompassed such entries as "Stop Procrastinating" and "Strive to Achieve ALL Goals Made." Wow, she went easy on herself this year. She also added a sixth parenthetical point that read: GET A BOYFRIEND. Ahh, isn't that the resolution of every girl her age? But it was her first entry that hit home for me. She wrote the simple words, "Finish Play."

"Wow," I thought. "That's a doable goal." My daughter had begun writing a play last summer and she really could finish writing it this year. After all, she had twelve months to do it.

She had twelve months, and so did I. That was when I stepped up to the plate with my big number four: Finish Novel. And for me, this year, that goal's unbreakable!

So there, I've done it. I've committed in front of all of you to complete my novel and put it out there for the world to see. (Don't worry, I've already warned my agent that it's coming!)

And now, it's your turn. What doable, unbreakable resolutions do you have the courage to commit to this year? Write them in the comments section below, and you won't feel all alone in tackling this year's goals with vigor. No more allowing another year to slip by. This turn of the decade, 2010, is the year for you to be productive!

Oh, and in case you're wondering what point the delivery man got such a chuckle from. It was Dad's number three: Stop Speeding. Can you guess whose handwriting that one was written in?

Happy New Year! Wishing you a productive, happy, and healthy 2010!

Judy

I'd like to share with you today an essay I wrote about the first time my husband and I took on the challenge of preparing Thanksgiving dinner. The piece originally appeared in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review several years ago (but don't worry because all publication rights have reverted back to me). This is one of my favorite stories to tell.

The Turkey's Wingless Flight
by Judith Burnett Schneider

A few problems arose with our decision to spend the Thanksgiving holiday at Mom's vacation condo in Florida. My husband and I would miss the family, for certain. But they could use the extra elbow room at the table. More critically, we'd miss our mothers. Without them, who would cook the Thanksgiving turkey?

But Thanksgiving was supposed to be a personal holiday -- nothing commercial, nothing overdone (except the crispy, browned skin of a properly roasted bird). I longed for the glow of candlelight and the taste of old family cuisine wrapped in the comforts of home albeit, this year, away from home.

"I'll do it," I said, unwilling to succumb to the temptations of a cold and impersonal (and no doubt exclusive) restaurant. At the same time, my husband decided that he wanted to cook. (For the record, it was the last time he ever offered.) At work for him was the I-can-do-anything-you-can-do-better ploy. The challenge grew from dining out, to boxed stuffing, to preparing the gourmet family recipe. Our Thanksgiving dinner in Florida would be as close to "the usual" as possible, minus sharing the table with 30 or so additional people. With this decision, however, came another problem. Arriving late Wednesday night, when would we shop for the cooking necessities? (At the time, there were no 24-hour grocery stores, believe it or not.)

The solution came to me one night in a dream...Turkeys can fly. We could transport a frozen turkey on the plane with us -- a sort of thawing in flight. Surely the FDA (and probably the FAA -- this was pre-9/11, remember) would shake a pointed finger at the mere concept, but it was a risk we would have to take.

My husband found the idea to be ingenious. In addition to the turkey-transport, he intended to transfer other supplies including the ingredients for the family stuffing recipe. Which raised the following question: Do we follow his mother's family recipe? Or mine? In time, we found compromise. The stuffing would include what I liked about my mother's recipe and what he liked about his but would exclude what he didn't like about my mother's and what I didn't like about his. Complicated, yet delightfully simple.

Wednesday came, the day of our departure. I carried my portable Igloo cooler loaded with a hand-chosen twelve-pound frozen turkey which definitely weighed far more than twelve pounds. My husband toted the pantry package.

In the airport, people stared and pointed. We looked like a pair of surgeons carrying an organ for transplant. I couldn't have guessed that a cooler containing a thawing bird (that wasn't getting any lighter) would attract so much attention. It must have been the reason for our parting crowds, in addition to hailing a cab so quickly, even from the back of the line. Above all, we probably broke world records: Thanksgiving Turkey's First Jet/Cab Jaunt.

Early Thanksgiving morning, as the oven heated the already sun-warmed kitchen, we realized it was time to do what we must to our flying friend. After unwrapping and rinsing, I lifted the turkey into the pan while my husband prepared the candied sweet potatoes. Fumbling through the cabinet, I located the roasting pan lid and stood up. Something wasn't right. The turkey had moved. He was open-armed as if to invite me into the pan. "Ooo." I jumped.

In all the advice I'd been offered before our trip, there was no mention of the turkey's flapping wings. I pushed the wings back against the body of the bird. They stuck for a moment and then popped out again. I entered some involuntary form of panic. Historically, I had not been one who enjoyed entertaining thoughts of what my food used to be before it landed on my plate. But this turkey wouldn't let me forget.

Abandoning the sweet potatoes, my husband came to my aid. He pulled two baking pins from a nearby drawer. The expert, I sighed. The take-out artist. I stepped aside and let him do what he could. He tacked the turkey's wings to the body but the elbows, if that's what they're called, jutted out to touch the sides of the pan. "We can't have that," I said. "It looks, I don't know, uncomfortable." My husband agreed. We tried several other pinning positions, none of which looked any more natural than the first. "He looks like he's doing the chicken dance," I said.

Silence ensued. "The wings will have to go," my husband said. Far behind schedule already, we were left with no alternative. And as white meat eaters, neither of us would miss the problem limbs. So with a quick slip of the knife, the wings were gone. Hurriedly, I stuffed the wingless turkey, slammed the lid, and shoved the bird into the oven. The worst had to be over.

With the table set, the candles lit, and the fiery sunset igniting the horizon, we gathered, the two of us, to enjoy a private, hard-earned Thanksgiving dinner. My husband carved and I served. After much planning, everything was perfect. I didn't miss the cold Thanksgiving Day weather they were reportedly having back home. We toasted to health and happiness, said a thankful-filled grace, and plunged in for the true test. The turkey was moist and tender. The sweet potatoes were scrumptious. And now, to taste the combination stuffing recipe. Sinking my fork into the bready mound, I stabbed something -- something that had to be inedible. Could it be paper? Oh no, not the sack that housed the giblets and other things I didn't want to think about. Oh yes!

My husband and I toasted our near success on that memorable Thanksgiving Day. It was no tragedy to have prepared a wingless turkey. After all, we succeeded in forming new family traditions. The whole traveling turkey, dewinging experience was rather enjoyable (although dining in even the most ordinary of restaurants might not have been such a bad alternative). Over coffee, we discussed a range of topics including the pros and cons of removing the giblet bag before cooking. We even decided to attempt pumpkin pie some time. In the end, we vowed never to roast another turkey on Thanksgiving -- without first removing its flapping wings.

(This essay originally appeared in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review on November 20, 1994)

This is reprinted in loving memory of my husband's mother, Ann Schneider. This will be our first Thanksgiving without her. She will be warmly remembered and missed.

I wish you all a warm and wonderful Thanksgiving Day!

Judy

This upcoming November 1st will be my fifth NaNoWriMo kick-off day when I stuff my laptop into my bag and head to the nearest Panera Bread to write. I stay as long as it takes to get in my required 1667 words that will serve as the day's quota.

"Not writing fiction," you say?

I say, "Who Cares?" Join NaNoWriMo today and make some serious headway on your nonfiction book, articles, essays, memoir, or even your outline.

I've completed my 50,000 words in the years 2005 and 2007. In 2006 and 2008, I wrote from 35 - 40,000 -- nothing to be embarrassed about.

Don't offer excuses that work is too busy or your family's too demanding. Last year, in addition to living the usual Frantic Woman's life I lead, I was in the midst of helping my daughter with the exhausting college application process as well as facing the grave illness of a family member. If I could do it then, so can you.

Stay tuned for some tips I'll offer in an upcoming blog post about how to cope through the NaNo frenzy.

For now, sign up. It's easy and it's free. (I always give a tax-deductible donation, but you don't have to.) After you become a member of the prestigious NaNoWriMo community, add me to your Buddy List. My author name there is "novelnut."

Let me know what project you'll be working on next month. And hurry! Only a few days remain before it's time to hit the keyboard.

See you at Panera!

Judy

Nancy Martin is an inspiring speaker and author of over 50 books including the Blackbird Sisters Mystery Series. She is teaching an online course through Pennwriters that begins on July 1, 2009 and runs through July 22 (with 3 sessions per week). The course is called HOW TO WRITE A CHARACTER-DRIVEN PLOT. You can register using PayPal or a credit card at this address: http://tinyurl.com/PennwritersCourse200907
The fee is $25 for Pennwriters members and $30 for nonmembers.

I have seen Nancy speak on several occasions and can't get my pen to write fast enough in her presence. She is informative and encouraging with a there's-room-for-all-of-us-to-succeed attitude. I'm sure the notes on Day One will be worth the entire course fee!

See you in class!

Judy

If you choose to read only one of Picoult's titles, I recommend you reach for My Sister's Keeper (2004). Why? Because, among other features, the author leaves you with no choice but to read to the end. Because you have to know what happens.

Admittedly, I am a reader who feels no obligation to finish a book. I generally give it 50 pages (sometimes 100), and if, by then, I'm not fully engaged, I plop the book in a 9" x 12" envelope and drop it on my neighbor's front porch. (She just had an in-ground pool installed and she gets her money's worth for the investment by reading poolside five months of the year!)

Of Jodi Picoult's 15 best-selling novels, why did I choose My Sister's Keeper? First, I haven't read them all. But foremost, of the titles I have read, this one was the most compelling for me. The intensity of the must-find-out-what-happens drive is high throughout. Here's a quick summary of why (without giving it away, for those of you who haven't read it yet).

The protagonist, Anna, is a thirteen-year old girl who has undergone many medical procedures in order to help her older sister Kate battle leukemia. Anna was originally conceived and given birth to because she was a bone marrow match for her sibling. (Remember that story from the news, hence yielding the issue-driven plot?)

In short, early in the story, the protagonist meets with a lawyer because she wants to protest the next procedure request by her parents: To donate a kidney to Kate.

At this point, the reader is hooked and remains so because one of four outcomes can occur:

1. Anna can refuse to donate the kidney and Kate can die.

2. Anna can refuse to give the kidney and Kate could somehow survive (another donor, a miracle, etc).

3. Anna can change her mind, donate the kidney, and Kate can live.

4. Anna can offer the kidney and Kate can die anyway.

Do you see why I, as a reader, just had to know? What's most interesting, though is that Picoult throws in a twist that I never saw coming -- with an ending that leaves readers gasping in their chairs.

The book is now going to be released as a major motion picture. It will hit theaters on June 26, featuring such stars as Cameron Diaz, Alec Baldwin and more. In an interview I saw recently with Picoult for Barnes & Noble, the interviewer mentioned that the ending was changed for the movie version. I'm disappointed as this was my favorite part of the book, mostly because it caught me off guard. I never saw it coming.

I bring up this point because I believe, as writers, we should expect as much of ourselves. Often in my consultations with writers, I like to demand this level of intensity of plot from them. Together, we push the plot limits until the stakes are higher, for the protagonist, the antagonist and everyone in between (all the while holding true to the characters). It's a challenge and I present it as a goal, here, for which we all, fiction and nonfiction writers alike, should strive to achieve.

Leave mediocre behind and amaze your readers.

Do you have a favorite Picoult novel? Or is there another author whose work you just can't put down? If so, can you pinpoint why? (Commenters, please don't spoil the ending for those who might not have read any of the books you choose to mention. Thanks!)

Can't wait to hear from you!

Judy

P.S. I apologize for the lack of links in this post. I recently downloaded Google Chrome and it changed a lot of my settings. I seem to have lost my little linky-thingies that allowed me to easily paste in links, italics, etc. -- Cindy, oh Great Web Designer, HELP!

So, for more information on Jodi Picoult and all her fabulous titles, you can simply google her! Thanks for understanding.

It belongs to a middle-aged woman who either had a couple of doses of Red Bull before she arrived or only has one hearing friend, the nodding woman sitting across from her who forgivingly keeps checking her cell phone.

Rather than pick up my laptop and move, however, I tune in. I listen to her run-on stories about continuing to pay her 25-year old daughter's credit card and about a college coed who got pregnant by a janitor. The woman dips her bread and fills her spoon and still the bowl remains mostly full. I want her to leave, but I don't.

For this woman has presented me with a gift: Clarity of Character.

However, one constant remains. She is not distinct.

But the soup-eating woman is. She bounces in the seat as she talks, bobs her head for emphasis, leans way back when she laughs. She is visible and animated. She changes the pitch of her voice for the people she's quoting in her stories. And with each shift, her facial expression changes.

Don't get me wrong. I don't want my protagonist to be this woman -- no, I don't want my readers to hope for the soup bowl to drain. But I do want them to know, really know, my protagonist. I want her to be this extreme, this distinct.

After taking in her last spoonful of bisque, the talking woman leaves as abruptly as she came. And before the door even closes behind her, I click open a new document and let my fingers flip and flap across the keyboard. I define what kind of soup my protag would eat, with whom she'd eat it, and what stories she'd tell over it. In that brief amount of time, my blurred vision of her begins to clear.

I now know how she reacts when she receives difficult news. I can hear the changes in her voice when she talks with her patients or confides in her assistant. I see her facial expressions when she confronts her daughter or sips wine with her lover.

"She is real," I shout. "My protagonist is real."

There is a new book out by Squire Rushnell called When God Winks on New Beginnings.

I think writers experience these eye-opening God winks all the time. Only it's probably not fair to compare these clarity-of-character moments to divine gifts from above. Rather than "God winks", I like to call them "Mind Blinks." They are flashes of inspiration we receive when we spend enough time with our plots and our characters (and with our innovative nonfiction ideas, as well).

I'd love to hear about your own Mind Blink awakenings. When did you iron out that wringle in your plot point? Or what was the trigger that anchored the motivations of your protagonist? Your villain?

By sharing our creative experiences here, we might just trigger a Mind Blink Blast!

Hope so!

Judy

I won't continue on the subject, here, because I feel enough has been said. When I had something specific to offer in the way of advice or opinion, I posted in the comment sections of the corresponding blog entries. If you'd like to catch up on any of the goings on, click on some of the blogs listed to the right of this posting.

If there's enough talk about the above-mentioned controversy, why then did I bring it up here? For two reasons:

1. To inform you of its existence, in case you didn't already know.

2. To NOT hop on the bandwagon and, instead, to help you use this fodder as fuel to propel you into writing/editing/submitting action.

How? By doing what every good writer should do in the spring/summer seasons: Attend a writers' conference.

In order to find the right conference for you, ask yourself (and be honest), where am I in my current project? If you've written and edited an entire manuscript and you feel it's ready for submission, I recommend attending a national conference where big-name agents will engage in pitch appointments with authors (ten-minute stints that allow the writer to pitch the novel or nonfiction book idea to an agent of his/her choice). There, you'll hear top authors speak and rub elbows with some of the most successful in the biz. Here are a few that might interest you.

For mystery and thriller writers: ThrillerFest 2009

This one is good for writers of romance, mainstream fiction, and even mystery: Romance Writers of America Conference 2009

Another conference with a lot of big-names: 2009 Backspace Writers Conference

Here's one that allows you to meet New York agents or to focus on writing memoir: International Women's Writing Guild: Big Apple Conference

If you have a strong first draft but know your manuscript needs some polishing, attend a nuts-and-bolts type conference in which the techniques of revising will be highlighted, along with other helpful sessions that might include encouraging you to write an engaging query and/or an irresistible first chapter. Here's a favorite of mine for such instruction.

This conference helps you kick back and tap the muse or roll up your sleeves and work, work, work: The International Women's Writing Guild: Remember the Magic

If you've got the seed of an idea and want to know how to turn it into a novel or approach magazines and newspapers with it, a local conference will probably give you the best bang for your buck (sorry about the cliche). In addition to my top choice shown below, check your library and community calendar listings for workshops, seminars, and even book/critique groups in your area.

This conference is great for writers of all levels: The Pennwriters Conference -- A Writer's Tool Chest

Take a moment or even a couple of hours to browse these websites (and others) to find the right conference for you. Talking with active writers, hearing the words of inspiring presenters, and schmoozing with editors and agents is the best motivation a writer can find. Let me know where you decide to go!

My colleague and friend Mary Patouillet and I founded an exciting, information-packed WRITING CAMP INTENSIVE for students entering grades 4th - 8th. Borders Books and Music in the Shops at Northway on McKnight Road in Pittsburgh has offered us our premium venue for the past five years. Borders employees are extremely accommodating. In fact, their Regional Vice President and other regional managers have visited the camp and commented on what a unique offering WRITE NOW Writing Camp is! It's a warm and encouraging, positive experience that both parents and students truly enjoy.

This year, WRITE NOW Writing Camp will be held the week of June 22 – 26, 2009. Due to demand over the past three years, we host two sessions. Choose either the 9:00 AM – noon OR 1:30 – 4:30 PM session. Space is limited, so reserve your spot today!

The camp features Brainstretch Exercises and Round-robin Breakout sessions in fiction, nonfiction (including essays), and poetry. We also focus on various skills and techniques that help students learn to edit and improve their writing projects. At the end of the week, the students take home a bound book of their camp creations. It is a keepsake that is both a reference guide and a memory book.

As a unique feature, WRITE NOW's curriculum changes every year due to the high number of returning campers.

This year we're hosting our fifth annual WRITE NOW Writing Camp. We've attracted campers from 33 different schools and homeschoolers, as well. Kids come together from as far north as Evans City and as far south as Upper St. Clair to enjoy this event. We provide a unique, comfortable environment that encourages self-expression and interaction. What better way to release your child's creativity?

WRITE NOW Writing Camp is designed for students who love to write and for those whose parents wish they did! Click below to find out how to register and for more details.

WHEN: June 22-26, 2009

WHERE: Borders Books and Music in the Shops at Northway, McKnight Road, Pittsburgh

SESSIONS: Choose from 9:00 AM - Noon OR 1:30 - 4:30 PM

WHO: WRITE NOW is for students entering grades 5 through 8 who love to write and for those who want to learn to write better. (This camp is not remedial.)

FEE: Cost is $130 and includes a t-shirt, notebook, folder, writing supplies, and a bound book of camp creations.

Space is limited.

Email me for more information and a printable registration form.

WRITE NOW Writing Camp: Building Writing Confidence in the Classroom and Beyond

Why blog about Super Senior on my writing space? There's a lesson for us all in what lies ahead. Keep reading.

As colleges passed out their decisions over the past few days, this ultimate applicant, however, received the following news.

Harvard: Rejection
Princeton: Rejection
Yale: Rejection
Penn: Wait-listed

And the same holds true for submitting writers. Many of my colleagues and cliets have received rejections from 2 or 3 agents and then tossed their manuscripts into a drawer. Sometimes that manuscript needs to be tossed, especially if it had a waning plot or was one draft short of being ready to submit.

Some of those manuscripts, however, are ripe and ready. And the writer needs to do the unthinkable, like the 2400 Kid did, and submit, submit, submit. There's no way Super Senior can take his rejections personally. He did everything in his power to make it to the top of the admissions pile. And still, for some schools, he just wasn't what they were looking for.

If you have a manuscript in the drawer that has been rejected a couple of times, pull it out and read it. If it's rough, revise. Make it tippy-top, cream-of-the-crop. Then, hop on over to The Guide to Literary Agents and start researching appropriate potential agents. Next, write an exciting query letter (if you're stuck, check out Query Shark) and give it a try.

And if you receive a couple of rejections, don't take it personally. You simply didn't write in the genre or voice they were seeking at the time. Keep submitting until you find the right agent for you.

Adopt the perserverence of the Super Senior who, by the way, was accepted to Brown and Dartmouth. Poor kid won anyway, didn't he? And you can, too!

Good luck!

Judy

Along with round-the-middle weight gain and rapid vision loss which requires one to stock up on over-the-counter eye glasses purchased in bulk at Costco, turning 50 brings with it the gift of intrusion in the form of a colonoscopy.

When my husband decided to succumb to the procedure, friends sent him the link to Dave Barry's column called A Journey into my Colon -- And Yours . Dave writes in full detail about the purging process and the exploration afterwards, so I need not delve into those previously charted waters. But I must warn you: Read Barry's essay in private to avoid being viewed as a hopeless geek who laughs at his own computer screen.

I wrote a book several years ago called Write Well & Sell: Changing Life's Simple Stories into Sales , an instructional manual that is essentially what my husband calls "Writing Essays for Dummies," and he means that in a good way. Nevertheless, many of the writing tips and techniques I offer in the book are perfectly exemplified in Dave Barry's essay.

One of my favorite parts of Changing Life's Simple Stories into Sales is a section called The Trick List: 15 Ways to Enhance Your Writing. The list features various simple tips that, when added, will undoubtedly make your story more readable, more memorable. (As an aside, The Trick List is complemented later in the book by The Don'ts List: 11 Mistakes to Avoid.)

In his colonoscopy column, Dave Barry uses nearly all of the tricks I highlight in the list. Now, this can mean one of several things:

1. Dave Barry read my book.

2. I wrote the book after reading Dave's column.

3. Dave and I are friends and collaborate on all of our works.

4. Dave Barry is an exceptionally talented writer and my book teaches you how to hone your skills to become just that.

Let's go with #4.

For example, point number 5 on The Trick List is to "Use Simple, Visual Similes and Metaphors." How often have you neglected to add similes or metaphors to your WIP because doing so requires some tweaking to find the right one for the application at hand? Or worse yet, how many awkward, difficult-to-decipher similes have you deleted from your own work or been annoyed with in other published writings? Adding a clear and meaningful simile or metaphor isn't novel advice. Yet somehow this technique is grossly neglected by many writers, both published and non.

Another Trick List tip is number 8, "Single Out a Sentence as a Separate Paragraph." You can also use a few-word phrase in a paragraph of its own. The impact, of course, results by forcing the reader to place emphasis on those words, on that action, and/or on the emotion the action evokes. Again, the advice isn't all that profound but is extremely effective and very easily implemented.

A final technique featured in the list is noted in lucky tip number 13, "Choose a Theme." We don't need to get into a heavy discussion defining theme at this time. What I refer to here is the idea of applying a recurrent idea, a motif, if you will, to your writing. By referring lightly to the chosen theme throughout the piece, you'll weave in a thread that will pull the reader from your gripping beginning to a satisflying end.

While I don't have permission to show you explicitly how Dave Barry executes these tidbits of advice (although I do have permission to link to his essay), you are fully capable of reading the piece and extracting the examples on your own.

Please don't poo-poo these suggestions as minor or measly or insignificant. After you note the use of these techniques in Barry's writing and see how powerfully effective they can be, I hope you'll pull out your drafts and apply them yourself. Using theme and relevant metaphors, for example, are the fundamentals upon which most good writing rests. Why not go back to giving the basics a try?

And for those of you approaching 50 or older, don't forget to sign up for the dreaded invasive procedure, if for no other reason than to earn Dave's certificate. In the end, there's a theme to be followed here: Purging and exploring helps colons and writers. (Oh yeah, and it doesn't hurt to come full circle either.)

If interested in purchasing Write Well & Sell: Changing Life's Simple Stories into Sales, email me. It's $10 plus shipping. (I like to use the $4.95 Priority envelopes so the book arrives in good condition and in a day or so.)

It came to me, then. I had my opening for my new NaNo novel, and I'd take it from there. Playing the What If? game during the rest of the drive home, I thought about how a character might respond if a person desperate for help (or even needy and bleeding) stepped out in front of her car on that isolated road. Would she stop? Call 911? Keep driving? The possibilities stretched out before me. And from there, my NaNo novel was born.

This year, I spent the month of October in preparation mode. I plotted intriguing twists and intricate turns so that, rather than write a draft during NaNoWriMo that needed gobs of revision to be marketable, I'm hoping I'll be a couple of drafts closer to having a finished product I can offer my agent.

So I encourage you to sign up, this year, today, right now, to participate in National Novel Writing Month. It takes only a few minutes to set up an identity (use your real name or a pseudonym of choice) and get started pumping up that word count. If you begin today, you'll have to write about 2000 words a day or approximately eight manuscript pages. That's a lot, I know, but it's not quality you're aiming for this time around. Start with any old character and put him in a sticky situation facing a nasty antagonist, give him a sidekick and/or a love interest and then write your way out.

NaNoWriMo is an invigorating experience. As the creativity is freed, the laundry piles up, lunch meetings get canceled, and you start weighing the nutritious differences between drive through and take out (hint: take out is better). People will look at you as though you're starring in your own Ground Hog Day movie when you walk into the same coffee shop five days in a row (preferably one with free refills), seeking out the same nook in which to write (usually a booth near an electrical outlet).

It's tough to describe the NaNo experience to non-NaNo writers. My best advice is to give it a try. If you finish the month with 50,000 words, then great. You win a printable certificate that says you did. If you end up with only 10,000 more words under your belt, so what. You're still a winner because you've kicked yourself in the &$*% and jump-started an exciting new project that just might propel your writing momentum for several months or even all year.

Go NaNo, I say! Give it a try, today!

Don't pass up this opportunity to be a part of history. Experience democracy at work, firsthand. If you have no patience for standing in a long line, do what I did. Pack a paperback novel and a couple of snacks, stop for your favorite brew (it'll help the economy) and grab a spot in line. It's your civic duty, your right--an American privilege.

This moment in history can be yours to share for years to come.

Vote today! Vote now! You might be surprised at how great it makes you feel!

P.S. Have an interesting voting story? Why not share it below? (Caution: Candidate-bashing comments will not be approved.) Thanks!

This is our fourth annual WRITE NOW Writing Camp. We've attracted campers from 27 different schools and homeschoolers, as well. Kids come together from as far north as Evans City and as far south as Upper St. Clair to enjoy this event. We provide a unique, comfortable environment that encourages self-expression and interaction. What better way to release your child's creativity?

WRITE NOW Writing Camp is designed for students who love to write and for those whose parents wish they did! Cost is $130 and includes a t-shirt, notebook, binder, writing supplies, and a bound book of camp creations. Space is limited. Email me for details and availability.