May 15, 2008
Thursday Night Therapy and the Bad-for-You Platter
Every Thursday night for the past I-don't-know-how-many years, my husband and I have gone out to dinner with my brother, his wife, my sister and her husband, who happens to be my husband's brother. (I know, I know, it sounds very interfamilial, but it's perfectly legal -- no bloodlines crossing, I swear.) We might go early or late or right when we should, depending upon the schedules of our combined twelve children--many of whom can now cart themselves around to their own activities. Nevertheless, the six of us have taken up the same space each week, but we bring to the table (or booth) six very different perspectives.
We call our regular gatherings "Thursday Night Therapy." I designed matching t-shirts for our little club (but no one ever wears them -- they're either saving them or I bought the wrong sizes) that say "Only 7 Days Left" because we've all admitted that while driving away from the restaurant every Thursday evening, we can't wait until our next weekly meeting.
In the comfort of sacred family pinky-swears, we can safely discuss our personal and professional lives, our children's challenges, our goals and failures and flights-of-idea. We can assume an outrageous stance or present a conservative one. We are able to freely discuss all those subjects marked as taboo in other social settings including politics (a discussion that often ends up involving customers at other tables and always the staff, because among the six of us, three political parties are represented) and religion. (Discussing sex is still taboo because, well, it just is.) Our interactions are full and feisty and very therapeutic.
Throughout all this, I've become comfortable with the word therapy because, for me, the word is synonymous with fun! I don't even mind when my daughter calls out from across the practice gym, "Hey Mom, are you going to therapy tonight?" (Although, that does remind me of an unrelated time when we were shopping for dresses to wear to my niece's wedding and she called out across the boutique, "Mom, this one would look great on a forty-year old!")
So why tell you about my Thursday night sessions? The answer lies in what I call the Bad-for-You Platter. Lately at therapy, I've been ordering a platter that is heaping with deep-fried everything. It's piled high with strips of zucchini, puffs of cauliflower and succulent mushrooms, fat, fat, thickly-battered onion rings, and extra ranch please. With that news, I'm sure some of you points-counting people are now whipping out your slide charts and tallying that the platter carries a week's worth of calories. (I know it does, but it's only once a week and I share, I swear.)
However, it's not what's on the Bad-for-You Platter but what happens over it that is truly fascinating. While pinching my onion "O" into an ellipse and dunking it in the nearest sauce, I ask my fellow club members about writing-related matters. I invite their feedback on plot points and character flaws, their opinions on my big-big nonfiction ideas, and their take on the latest twists in the industry. We reflect, not as writers, but as chemists and C.P.A.s, as engineers and teachers, and small business owners, on what makes a plot tired or fresh. Such conversations fueled my choices on which red herrings in my novel were "fair" and that my latest nonfiction idea needed reshaping.
Discussing writing-related topics with nonwriters can be an enlightening resource. So instead of fearing what others might think when you finally admit that you're writing a novel, fight your fright and just ask. Ask someone you trust what they truly think about whatever it is you're mulling over in your writing life. You don't have to worry that they'll steal your idea or lead you down the wrong path (in hopes of getting published before you do). This week, then, why not order a friend or family member a big bowl of ice cream or venti espresso and talk book talk? Otherwise, you might never find out how therapeutic such interaction can be. Good luck!
Posted by Judy at 12:27 PM | Comments (6)